Lost for words

I can very much relate to this. Just the other evening, I was “put on the spot” by a friend who doesn’t understand the disconnects between my thought-forms and spoken words. She seemed to think I was afraid to speak. But there’s more to it than that. Way more. And it’s frustrating to deal with people who equate non-verbal states with lack or disability. Sometimes, I just have a different way of processing and experiencing ideas and communication.

The Misadventures of Mama Pineapple

I often struggle to translate my thoughts into either speech or the written word.

Sometimes I lack the particular executive functioning powers required to organise and synthesise what’s in my mind, to present it to an external audience. At other times, the very fact that I have set myself the task of writing means that I have made a demandof myself. I have told myself I “must” write. And the moment my brain seizes upon the notion of the imperative, some inner refusal mechanism kicks in.

But very often, it’s something far more mechanical.

I found myself in a Twitter exchange a few months ago about how there are times when I’ll have phrases, sentences, paragraphs, and entire, in-depth arguments and treatises swirling around in my mind, only to discover that – when I attempt to commit them to the written form – they are not there.


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2 thoughts on “Lost for words

  1. my inner thinking is more like images and concepts, not words. whereas most people seem to think with words… or at least t would explain why they get so weird whe you try to describe the usual speaking problem. first… need to switch to words-language mode, pick a language…
    so often indeed easier to just write. no interruptions

    Liked by 1 person

    1. VisualVox

      I’m the same way. Ugh, a few days ago, I was “under the microscope” with someone who was convinced I was “just shy” and just needed to be accepted, to feel free to speak my mind. Woman, please. That’s not what’s going on. I resorted to a form of interpretive dance, stringing a bunch of vaguely related words together. That’s all I had, in that moment. But when we got talking about a special interest we both shared… well, then I couldn’t shut up. Ha ha – she asked for it! Fortunately for both of us, she was every bit as intrigued as I, so it wasn’t a total waste of time. I can usually salvage at least something. Or just cut my losses and wander off to do my own thing. In silence.


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