Sorting out my help

I've got a million reasons to be happy - I'm Free!
stick man dancing

So, my Aspie diagnostic / therapeutic / support journey continues…

I may have actually found someone who can help me with my day-to-day issues. And that makes me very, very happy.

I’ve been “making the rounds” with Aspergers support groups for women and folks over 50. I also went to a women’s game and pizza night organized by a local Autism support organization. They have those once a month – usually the week following the women’s support group.

Of the three choices, I need to pick two that I’ll go with regularly. Three such meetings a month is too much driving for me. It adds at least two extra hours of driving time, when I attend, and I already have a weekly appointment that takes a chunk of time and energy out of my week.

I’ve done the women’s support group three times, and this last time, it was clear there was a significant difference between my own support needs, and those of others in the room. We all have needs, but because I’m able to get through my days, I have a full-time job, a marriage, and I can manage for the most part, my situation got eclipsed by those of the other women who were dealing with difficulties that were far more impairing — even disabling — than my own.

So, we didn’t spend much time talking about how I’d been struggling with my conversational pacing, and I kept just walking away from people who were still talking, without realizing the conversation wasn’t over… and how terrible I felt about that.

For the pizza and game night, I had a good time — and I think that’s where I’ll focus my energy, as time goes on. Just being able to chill out and interact with other Aspies. The over-50-yrs-old group is a good one. I’m in the midst of my peers… although it doesn’t always feel like it, because I generally feel about 20 years younger than I am, and I look like it, too. When I’m around a bunch of 50-somethings, I really feel delayed… like I’ve been half-cryogenically preserved in my endless childhood of a life.

Support groups aside, I’ve located a therapist who might actually be able to help me. I did some research, and he works with folks on the autism spectrum, as well as deals with gender issues, communication, etc. Sounds about right to me. I’d love to just find someone who “gets it” who I can just check in with, and also discuss my life in detail without being constantly grilled about what I mean about this, what I mean about that. The executive function person I’m working with keeps me on my toes. And she pushes me in good ways. But I also need someone who understands all that comes with the autism spectrum, and doesn’t keep at me to verbalize every damn’ thought in my head.

It’s coming together. Bit by bit, piece by piece. It’s coming together.

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