Ah, Company

There’s a reason why firearms aren’t allowed in certain establishments

I just got back from a massage. God, how I needed that. I just spent 24 hours hosting a colleague of my partner’s, who was in town for an event. This is the first time I’ve ever met her. 

She’s very nice, fun to talk to, knowledgeable and ambitious, and very experienced. And I am so glad she is gone.

I don’t want to make it sound like I had a terrible time. I actually did have a fun time. But honestly, is it really necessary to talk that much? Even if you are nervous, would it kill you to just keep quiet? And what is it about all of the offers to help? I understand when people want to contribute and they’re grateful to their hosts for the hospitality, but it is so hard for me to articulate instructions for people, especially when they are overeager and things have to be done right away, like serving up the food and setting the table before everything gets cold.

In the past, after company came to visit, I used to meltdown in really distressing ways. I would send an email, the day after, thanking company for coming to visit… Then end up typing up many paragraphs of criticisms, anger, frustration, all the things I wanted to say the night before when we were having such a lovely time, but I was too overwhelmed by their presence to articulate any of it. 

Needless to say, my partner and I have lost a fair number of friends over the years, thanks to my delayed meltdowns. Thinking back, It’s kind of funny, and it would probably make a dark comedy. But it’s not very funny when you end up having no friends, nobody wants to come to your house, and your partner is afraid to invite anybody over for fear that they will be attacked later on.

This is one of those times, when being autistic is not my favorite thing. I mean, I can’t even have somebody in my space for more than a few hours without starting to fray at the edges.

It’s one thing to spend 24 hours around a new person. It’s another, to have them in your home, disrupting your routine, following habits you don’t appreciate, and being very interactive. She was also very tactile, which is extremely difficult for me. I did OK with it, but it got to be a little much after while.

Also, she wore a certain scents that now permeate my house. I hope the weather is good for the next few days, because I need to air the place out. It’s not a terrible smell, but it is different, and it is not a scent that I would choose, myself.

On the bright side, I have the next few days to myself. I am on my own, as my partner and this colleague have gone off to attend the event together. I now get to organize the next three days any old way I please. And I am very much looking forward to it.

I just need to air out the house.

6 thoughts on “Ah, Company

  1. Tracy

    I’ve always been unable to cope with people (including family) visiting. I used to have to go upstairs out of the way. I would just get up and walk out. People who were not used to it said I was rude. I remember one caravan holiday with my MIL and I used to have to lock myself in the tiny toilet..what a difference DX has made to me. I still have to do those things but now I understand why and don’t beat myself up about it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. VisualVox

      Yes, it would be lovely to just walk away and not bother with any of it. But I’m the host, so I’m stuck. Fortunately, I have the house to myself for three days, so that’s completely awesome. I’m so relieved…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. VisualVox

        Ugh, I know. My parents have a lot of different people parading through their house at unexpected times. People just “drop in”! And it’s fine with them. They’re pleasantly surprised. Not me. I hang out as long as I can, then I run for cover. I come up with some excuse, but yeah, I get whined at, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, I feel this too with visitors; especially the stress added by continued offers for help! It is bad enough trying to break down tasks so that I can do them alone, let alone delegating these tasks to others & communicating what I need clearly so that things are done properly. This is one of the reasons I pre-prepare food which goes in the oven for a long time (lasagne, Shepherd’s pie, etc) when people come round: then there are fewer things visitors can ‘help’ with!
    I also often forget to offer to help when I am at other people’s houses which I think is perceived as impolite. Gah Random social conventions! 🙄

    Liked by 2 people

    1. VisualVox

      I know! Please stop asking me how you can help… I’m happier if you’re not doing anything. OMG, how frustrating it was.

      I also don’t often offer to help others in their homes, because it feels rude and intrusive to me. I don’t want to put more demands on them, than they already have with me being around.

      But apparently other people like it, so I’ve learned how to offer. Sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

What do you think? Share your feedback - and feel free to share this post!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.