Hello, weekend!

human silhouette on beach with sunsest
I am so ready for this weekend, it’s not even funny.

It’s been a full week – lots of scrambling and negotiation at work, political back-and-forth, along with a bunch of personal shifts for me.

Basically, I’ve realized that my Type A strivings over the years, while useful in some context, aren’t really getting me where I want to go, anymore.

I guess I want to go different “places” than I did, 20 years ago.

Right now, I’d love to not “go” anywhere, but settle into my routine, read some of the many really great books I’ve acquired over the years but never got around to reading, spend a lot of time reflecting, just taking it all in… in all its complexity and thoroughness… and live my life.

Just let myself BE, for once.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

I need a rest — mostly from myself.

Now, I know where my impulse to push-push-push comes from. It’s from my intensity of focus and my passion for all kinds of new things. It’s from my uncanny ability to get stuff done, which in itself can be very fulfilling. I’m one of the most driven people my partner’s ever met. She tells me that frequently. And it’s true.

I’m driven.

But my drive seems to be taking a detour, these days. And rather than being outwardly driven to make and do and accomplish, I’m now driven within… to absorb, to take in, to observe, to understand, to enlarge myself every bit as much as I’ve wrung myself out like a sponge being squeezed dry of every drop by the constant torque of my drive.

I’m no less driven. I’m just being pushed in very different directions, these days.

And I’m pushed to write. To finish up the books I started, all those years ago. To put the polishing touches on them and then publish. ‘Cause you know, Autistic folks could really stand to be better represented in the publishing world. Fiction. Memoir. All that. And I’ve got more than a few projects I’ve done over the years — both finished and unfinished.

Hmmm… Oh, this feels tasty… {smacking my lips, as I write this}

Have some fun with it.

But first, the weekend.

Rest.

Restore.

And don’t even think about next week.

Selah.

Amen.

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3 thoughts on “Hello, weekend!

  1. Pingback: Hello, weekend! – Aspie Under Your Radar – International Badass Activists

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