What a relief. It’s Friday.
Oh, wait — I still have a full day of work ahead of me, and I have to drive to the office through all kinds of rain and wind because I have meetings with people I don’t really like that much. And I’ll have to work again this weekend, because I’ve been so busy in meetings that I haven’t had a chance to actually do much.
Okay, so it’s Friday.
Actually, it’s good, because most people who live around here work from home on Fridays, so the traffic shouldn’t be bad.
And the office should be pretty quiet.
One of my projects, that’s been on and off track for over a year, now, finally got a last-minute reprieve. I feel like a shelter cat who just got adopted, a day before my time ran out. Yeah, it’s that extreme. I’ve been in a whole lot of pain during this project, over the past year, and it hasn’t been helped by everybody at higher levels jockeying for position.
Well, that’s fine. At least my project isn’t more screwed up than the other projects it’s connected to. Everything is pretty much of a dumpster fire, these days — all because people at the top had unrealistic expectations of those of us doing the work, and the people making the decisions drastically under-estimated the complexity of what exactly we’re trying to do, here.
I’m sure I’m being cryptic, but there’s only so much I can say about all this.
In the midst of it, I’m trying to cultivate a sense of equanimity. It’s hard. Okay, for me, it’s next to impossible. I’m excitable. I’m hot-headed. I’m passionate about what I do and why I do it, and I don’t countenance slackers very well. I also dislike being cut out of my job, pushed aside by people who don’t know what they’re doing. Augh! So painful.
Just another day in the life, frankly. Everything around me is challenging and painful — it’s been that way, my entire life. I don’t know who shuffled the “deck of cards” that life was dealing from when I came along, but any way you look at it, I got kind of a crappy hand.
Of course, everybody feels that away. Everybody feels like they’re overwhelmed and can’t deal. Like they’re a victim of something or another. Like life is stacked against them. Like they’re alone and having to slog through everything all by their lonesome. I can’t think of anyone I know who genuinely believes that they got a sweet deal in life and can handle everything that’s on their proverbial plate.
So, as a reminder… There’s no crying in baseball.
Bottom line, we get what we get, and it’s our job to make the most of it. If I don’t like something, then it’s on me to change it. Don’t have enough energy? Do some strength and endurance exercises. Eat right. Get enough sleep. Feeling overwhelmed? Well, manage, already. If I can see what’s wrong, then it’s on me to do something about it. I’ve been around too long to be able to make excuses anymore. Maybe 20 years ago, I could. But even then, I knew better.
In fact, my entire life has been structured around getting myself in a position where I could actually manage my own situation, construct a life of my liking, and address the conditions that vexed me.
So, it hasn’t been all bad. And to be honest, when I look around me at everything I go through on a daily basis, I actually feel like a bit of a bad-ass. Tough. Resilient. Resourceful. Adult, even. I didn’t get this way by accident, and I didn’t get this way by having everything go in my favor.
Quite the contrary.
So, Friday’s here, and it’s gonna suck. Oh, well.
I’ll just get on with it and see what I can get out of it.