Saturated – losing my mojo, & the question of embodied existence as an autistic person.

“… what I do think is that our daily efforts are largely a blank to most people, and the intelligence behind our multiple coping strategies is overlooked. All that’s often visible is the ‘getting things wrong’. Ingenuity, inventiveness, resilience and the sheer courage involved in managing our lives is an unseen entity, and indeed a valuable resource.”

This is the story of my life, lately. Non-autistic people don’t have a clue — and why should they? It’s a rare neurotypical soul who can put themselves in our “shoes” and really imagine what it must be like.

And it’s not just about imagining how horrible it must be, but also how amazing it is… and how much we have to offer. Sometimes I think we’re living in a parallel universe, and since by definition parallels don’t intersect…

Well, there you have it.

The other side

STU_1404DPP4_001Photograph by Stu Allsopp 2018

Don’t bother reading this. Yes – probably this blog post has been written before. Possibly even by me? I’ve written so very many posts since my diagnosis that even I can’t keep up!

Deja vu, reinventing the wheel, this is what comes to mind when I hit the web these days. Voices that have been silenced for a lifetime are compelled to speak, and in so many ways blogging is the perfect mouthpiece.

But I’ve become weary about sharing my life online.

Suddenly – as I approach my two year diagnosis anniversary – the plane is tanking. I’m not giving up on activism. There’s probably just a limit to how long a person can keep going without burning out a little, or even getting burned (which indeed I did in 2017).

Also there is overwhelm. It’s brilliant that the blogging scene keeps mushrooming – but…

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