(My) Asperger’s / autism and emptiness

Yeah, this.

Usually, I don’t feel empty–at least, not when others would expect me to. I don’t feel empty when I’m alone, for example. I don’t tend to feel empty when I’m not doing anything except staring into space and thinking.

My Asperger’s/autism seems to protect me from feeling lonely or empty when I’m “supposed to”–that is, during times when “everyone else” would.

Sometimes, however, emptiness creeps in, like an unwanted houseguest. It intrudes when one might least expect it, times when there’s no “logical” reason for it.

It surprises me sometimes. It strikes at interesting times.

I’ve been working on trying to identify the source(s). Here’s what I’ve come up with so far…

When I feel empty…

Sometimes it comes from feeling insignificant. When I feel my voice has been steamrolled over, drowned out in the din of extroverts, overridden by someone else’s value system. What I would like or want…

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