I have to wonder, what’s going to happen to me when I get older?

old woman with face in hands
It worries me, to be honest

I was talking to a couple of different folks over the past few days, and the question of aging came up. I’ve got a birthday in another month (exactly), and I always think about my “trajectory” ’round about this time of year.

How have I been doing over the past year? Am I happy with my progress? Where could I have done better? I can always do better, so where can I make some positive changes?

And while I’m actually doing really well with myself, right now — I’m healthy, I’m happy, and I am so much better able to manage, now that I’ve got the whole Autism mystery identified — I wonder what it will be like in the future.

How will I get along? I don’t have many friends. My family isn’t in any position to take care of me. My nieces and nephews don’t seem to realize I exist, unless I’m standing right in front of them. I have no kids who can take care of me, when I’m older. And how long will I be able to work?

There are a lot of unknowns for me.

And the thing that concerns me most, is probably how I’ll handle myself in medical situations in the future. I notice myself becoming “more autistic” as time goes on, less inclined to communicate, stumbling more, shutting the world out more. While that’s all very well and good while things are going well, what about when I need help?

Will I even be able to articulate how and why I need help? Or to what degree?

I just don’t know.

And I need to figure something out. Because the unfolding pattern of that thought isn’t particularly encouraging.

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4 thoughts on “I have to wonder, what’s going to happen to me when I get older?

  1. Very important questions you are asking. I’m not sure where you live (U.S. or other), but I know that my mom paid for home care insurance earlier in life, just in case. She does have my brother and I, but with me living in another state and my brother having a FULL schedule, she wanted to make sure she has the care she would need, if she ever were to need it.

    Unfortunately, at the early age of 68, she was recently diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. While she doesn’t need the extra help now, I am glad to know she will have constant care when my brother or I are not able be present.

    It is something worth looking into.
    Much love! 💓

    Liked by 1 person

    1. VisualVox

      Thanks – yes, I’m in the U.S. I may look into that. Thanks for mentioning it.

      I’m really trying to think through all my options and where and how I want to be living my life, on down the line. Main thing with me, these days, is keeping my body in decent shape, eating right, keeping my mind engaged, etc. Really making the most of what I have now, so it can last me into the future. I come from a long line of very long-lived individuals, and with the medical advances how, I expect I will live even longer than they. So, now is the time to work on the foundation, before I start to feel the effects of the march of time.

      Thanks again for the tip about insurance. And I’m sorry to hear about your mom’s brain tumor. That is a rough one.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. VisualVox

      Let’s hope so – kids really aren’t the “insurance policy” they used to be. Kids these days… 😉 Well, nobody’s guaranteed much of anything. Here’s hoping we figure it out.

      Liked by 1 person

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