My Autistic Physicality

I’ve noticed, since my own DX, how very deliberate I can be, as well. It’s amazing, just how much energy I expend intentionally making movements and organizing my physical movements. I’ve done it since I was a kid, and I’ve noticed it, now and then, but honestly, only since really diving into the whole autism thing, have I gained a full appreciation of how much work it is for me to walk across the room. Or eat a meal. I’ve practiced and practiced so much, that it’s become second nature to me. But it’s still intentional, and I still need to consciously practice it. Some of these things, I’ve never internalized to the point where they’re instinctive.

Just the magic of being me, I s’ppose 🙂

Autism and Expectations

I didn’t know I used my muscles in strange ways until it was pointed out to me. I didn’t know it was a thing. I hadn’t seen it in the diagnostic criteria, though I may well have been asked about it. I would have answered that I move well, no issues.

My reflexes are fast, my muscles are satisfyingly strong. They do what I tell them. My joints are awful and disobedient, but my muscles can be trained.

I didn’t think I ever walked on my tiptoes either, until I realised that I always do when barefoot. Which is why I don’t like being barefoot on anything other than the warm grass in the summer.

But I do use my muscles strangely. I use them all. I’ve been comparing. When my husband lifts a glass, he uses the bare minimum of effort. No more than needed.

When I lift a…

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