Okay, so it’s April… let the awareness onslaught begin

rear view mirror of a line of military vehicles driving through the snow
It’s hard to not feel like “they’re coming for us”.
(U.S. Army National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Jennifer D. Atkinson/Released)

I’m starting my day out right – with exercise of two kinds: riding my exercise bike for 20 minutes, then following with 10 minutes of light weight training. I had my “fluffy egg” — a whipped egg I cook in a non-stick pan with a plate laid over the top, so the egg fluffs up and turns into a kind of souffle (till I remove it from the stove and it collapses). I sip my 1/2 cup of coffee while I eat my fluffy egg, I take my Vitamin D3 and B-Complex, then I sit down to write and read, with a banana, a big cup of water, and what remains of my coffee.

It’s April! I need to take care of myself, for sure. The whole turn-on-blue-light-bulbs thing is, well, a popular thing. It means different things to different people, and to autistic people, it doesn’t always mean something good.

At work, we’re encouraged to wear blue on certain days to “show support” for autistic people and their families. Because, well, they’re all apparently young boys who make their parents feel “blue”, and we want to be supportive of the poor suffering families. Bummer. I have to figure out which days those are, because I don’t want to wear blue on those days. I’ll wear #RedInstead. But blue clothes are a significant portion of my very limited work wardrobe (5 pairs of slacks, 5 tops, all of which I mix-and-match, so I don’t have to figure out fashion sh*t, first thing in the morning). So, that complicates things.

Augh! I hate complication. Especially when I’ve got a great thing going with my routine, planned execution, and anticipated outcomes.

In April, especially, I really have no idea what the outcomes will be, so that’s disorienting. Ah, well. It’s a good reason to brush off my stoicism and put it to good use.

The major part  / lion’s share of my activities this month will be self-preservation-oriented. Taking good care of myself and my home (spring cleaning to get my mind off things!) as well as stuff at work. Winter is now in the proverbial rear-view mirror, and it’s time to kick things into action again.

Kicking things into action is very much about setting the direction for my own life for the coming month — and beyond. I can’t be derailed by misinformation programs, propaganda, etc. I have no control over the people behind it. I can provide alternative views — and post videos and other information on the company intranet, when people start waxing eloquent about the trials and tribulations of autism.

There are things I can do.

But I can’t control the outcomes. So, I need to really focus on my own self, my own direction, my own priorities, and not let my life be derailed by the underhanded agenda$ of people who don’t want what’s best for me.

Yep, self-care is in order. As is stoicism.

And actually having fun with stuff. It’s been snowing for 24 hours, now, and there’s more snow coming down on top of the slush that built up overnight. A lovely snow day, for sure. And Saturday, on top of it!

April is showing up with its unique challenges — which I accept.

I accept my autism and all the intricacies of daily life that come with it. I accept my uniquely challenging situation, given my singular temperament and personality. I accept the difficulties that go along with being unrecognized and unsupported by the standards of mainstream society. I have no problem with being on the outside and being misunderstood. And as such, it’s incumbent up on me to “hold my sh*t” in the course of my daily life and live up to everything that crosses my path, for good or ill.

April is one of those “things”. So, here it is. I won’t say “Bring it on!” because it needs no encourage from me. It’s here, whether I like it or not. What I choose to do with it, is up to me.


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