I didn’t post anything yesterday, because the day was an extended whine-fest, and I got sick of “listening” to myself in my messages to friends who reached out to say “Hi”. Nothing dampens the mood of “Hi! How are you? I was just thinking of you,” like a reply that starts with “Ugh” and commences with whining about problems that some people would love to have.
Long story short, I had a flat tire on my minivan. And as it turned out, I was probably driving around with that steadily flattening tire for several days. I noticed the vehicle was handling strangely, and the steering seemed hard to handle. But did I think to check the front tires? Nope. Just kept driving. My partner and I are both lucky the tire didn’t blow out somewhere during Christmas shopping. So, that realization left me feeling pretty dense, to be honest.
I changed the tire — the van just has one of those “convenience” spare tires — a “donut” that’s the right dimensions to keep the vehicle running. But the donut was flat, too. As I lowered the jack, it kept getting flatter and flatter, which was about where my mood was.
We needed the van for today, which meant we had to get it fixed yesterday. For the record, most regular tire-service businesses are closed the Monday after a Sunday-Christmas. Additionally, all the world apparently has tire trouble that same day as you, which means things can be backed up by several hours, starting with the tow truck, and ending with the auto service center.
I had plans to spend yesterday resting and just catching up with myself and some reading. But I ended up chasing down who could help me with what… and then sitting around waiting for people to get back to me, when they were Not At All on time (which I hate with every fiber of my Aspie being). I figured I’d end up spending close to 20% of my savings (which is not much to have in the bank, in the first place — long story) on this car situation, and I’d also lose two days of rest and recovery from Christmas, what with all the coordination and scheduling. And none of that made me happy, because This Was My Week To Catch Up With Myself and spend a bit of time on some projects I haven’t been able to advance with, because my day-to-day is usually so busy.
I really just wanted to rest. Crawl up in a ball and weep for a few days. Get Christmas out of my system. Yes, it was lovely. Yes, I had a wonderful time. And Yes, I am completely DONE from the whole marathon experience. God help me.
The whole thing yesterday was pretty distressing, I must admit. What made it even worse, was feeling like I shouldn’t feel the way I do, and being hard on myself for being so brittle. That autistic echo-chamber got going, and it was like putting two loudspeakers across from each other — just an ever-increasing negative feedback.
At least yesterday ended. And I eventually did get a bit of a nap, although it pushed off my sleeping schedule more than I wanted it to be. But at least it’s over. And this morning, I found out that I won’t need 4 new tires – just the one, which was beyond repair. So, that’s actually really good. It spared my savings, and for that I’m grateful.
It was just pretty painful getting to that point.
Lessons learned, I suppose. I know where to get a tire fixed on the day after Christmas. And I think I actually did pretty well, dealing with everyone — although I cringed, every time I started to dial the phone. I kept my cool and disregarded the panic that welled in my gut, when I started to feel like I was losing the thread of discussion, or I was missing something they might have said. Soldier on… Soldier on… and I got it all done. And no animals were harmed in the process. Just my pride.
Today, I’ll go pick up the van, pay the man I talked to, and get on with my life of rare leisure. This week, at least, I have the leeway to screw up… and live to tell the tale. So it goes.