Hiding out – in plain view

#AutisticNinja - You'll only see me If I let you
#AutisticNinja – You’ll only see me If I let you. Do not look behind that mask.

I’m so wiped out, it’s not even funny. Shaking, nauseated, feeling like I’m going to fall over… not hearing things correctly, missing a ton of details, and getting so turned around and confused over the smallest things. Making costly mistakes.

‘Cause I’m wrung out like an old washcloth.

But I don’t get to hang myself up to dry. Gotta keep on keepin’ on. Gotta keep the stiff upper lip. The rest of the team is counting on me. Subtle hints abound at work, about how everyone is working overtime, and I’m expected to, as well.

I’m part of the team.

I have to keep up.

So, I keep up. I make excuses for my lapses. I disguise them as “intentional”. I gloss over my slip-ups and I keep going, as though I didn’t just say / do / emit what I just did.

I’m in control of my own destiny, after all. Right? I’m a big girl. Gotta put my big girl pants on.

And keep going.

Regardless.

Disclose about my issues? Oh, HELL no.

Not a chance. They’d never go for it. Gotta keep up, remember?

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