This sounds familiar….
I’ve never fitted in. Not really anyway. My whole life I have felt like the odd one out. Even in kindergarten I knew the other kids were different, or rather: I was different. Not that I thought that they were all the same, I certainly don’t remember it that way, but if according to George Orwell some are more equal than others, I was definitely more different than others.
It’s hard to completely describe what that realisation does to a child. I know I never felt good enough, partly because of me being different and partly because I was made to feel not good enough. Such experiences have a lasting impact.
On my continued search for the reason why I never fitted in anywhere I did a lot of reading, because that is what I do, that is my safety net. With zero humans to turn to, books were all…
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