So, so good – it’s a great comparison of before-awareness and afterwards. Everyone questioning why autistic people need to know what the deal is with us should read this. The payoffs of putting it all together are exponentially greater than any drawbacks — and it’s amazing how finding things out can smooth over years and years of self-doubt, blame, and recrimination.
Knowing you’re on the autism spectrum is liberating, not disordering.
My husband always says you can find me in the logic. My actions are always reasoned. There’s always a clear pattern to follow.
What that meant, before I knew I was autistic, was that all of my logical conclusions about who I am were deeply flawed. That I misjudged and misconstrued both my own motivations, and other people’s.
Here are some examples of some vastly different thought patterns from before and after diagnosis:
Why do people not warm to me?
PRE: Because I’m not likeable. Because I’m not interesting. Because people just don’t like me.
POST: Because I can’t do the unconscious processing behind social interactions. I won’t be projecting things in a natural way, and I won’t pick up on the subtle nuances of other people’s movements. This leads to people thinking I’m closed to them because that’s what I’m projecting.
Why do I find it so…
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