Reasons you can’t be #autistic or an Aspie

Checklist on a clipboard with Excellent, Good, Fair, Poor sections and Excellent is checked offI’m compiling a list of reasons we don’t seem Autistic / Aspergian. These reasons are used to either “prove” that we’re “normal” (and hence don’t need any different considerations from others), or to actually deny us needed services.

This list is a start. I’m sure there are many, many more. I just haven’t had the time to compile them all, yet. If you can think of more, please add them in the comments section below. Thanks in advance!

We’re told:

  1. You’re too social.
  2. You’re too empathetic.
  3. You’re too smart.
  4. You make eye contact.
  5. You’re verbal. And you talk plenty.
  6. You haven’t been officially diagnosed.
  7. You have a job.
  8. You seem fine to me / us / others.
  9. You don’t act like “real” Autistic / Aspergian folks – you don’t seem like Rain Man to me.
  10. You’re a grown woman, and you’ve made it this far without help.
  11. You’re a grown man, and you’ve made it this far without help.
  12. You’re athletic.
  13. You don’t have any super-powers.
  14. You’re just looking for attention.
  15. You just want to be in the “cool club” with the Aspies / Auties.
  16. You’re married or in a relationship – especially if your relationship is long-term.
  17. You’ve got kids.
  18. You like make-up.
  19. You like fashion.
  20. You can drive a car.
  21. You enjoy having sex.

That’s my quick list for now. Just to get some numbers to these, so I can blog about them later.


5 thoughts on “Reasons you can’t be #autistic or an Aspie

  1. Pingback: Reasons you can’t be #autistic or an Aspie – Under Your Radar |

  2. This field was intentionally left blank

    This post really spoke to me! My Asperger’s type was missed by everyone :). My mom has a Masters degree in Special Ed (both ends; the gifted and the challenged). I’ve seen 6 counselors/therapists, several of them very good and perceptive. I’ve been given the 560+-question MMPI (around age 13-14). I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD (true); ADHD (not true); bipolar type 2 (was true, but no longer true); OCD (not true); clinical depression (no longer true), etc. Every single person missed the Asperger’s, which explains everything, and I think this list points to a big chunk of the reasons why 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. VisualVox

      I had highly experienced and reputable neurpsychologist, at the peak of his skill, tell me there was no way I could be on the spectrum because I was too empathetic, I could put myself in others’ shoes, and I’m too socially adept. I respect him in every way, but in that regard, he was so wrong, it was scary. Needless to say, I didn’t mention it again. There was nothing I could do or say that would change his mind. So, I cut my losses. And that’s fine. I’m still not seeing anyone regularly who understands, but short of finding someone who’s actually ON the autistic spectrum, seeking professional assistance seems like a total waste of time to me.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. VisualVox

      Oh, please. No imagination whatsoever. I don’t have many friends, so I have more contact with professionals. I suspect that the lack of connection with others is at the root of my isolation. All the pressure to be verbal is just so tiring. I can do it, and I do it very well. But it just wipes me out by the end of each day. Tradeoffs, tradeoffs…

      Liked by 1 person

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