This sounds very familiar. I’m on the fence about how I feel about this – and I feel like I’m on a fence, balancing precariously, and either way I lean, I’m going to fall off and hurt myself. Or hurt someone else. Passing, to me, is like having to bundle up to go out into a snowstorm or carry a large umbrella during a windy rainstorm. No matter how well prepared I may be, I still get wet, cold, wind-blown, and return to my cave a lot more tired than I was when I left the shelter of my shell.
A necessary evil? It seems to tick the box on both counts.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the invisibility of autistic adults.
We see a lot of focus on autistic children, and getting them to adulthood with the skills they will need. And about parents of autistic children, and what they should do, and how they can be supported.
These things are important.
But it seems less fun, and less cause-worthy to talk about the adults with autism who are just getting on with it.
Many of us learn how to pass for normal. Some of us have jobs and relationships and our own homes. Many of us learned and followed the rules expertly.
We put the same effort into passing for normal as we do any of our hobbies.
And what reward to we get? Do we get to be normal? Do we get some ultimate joy out of pretending to be a neurotypical and keeping our inner-selves suppressed and…
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