My stim buddies

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Here are my stim buddies – a paper napkin and a tissue folded up to fit my hands – exactly.

The brown paper napkin (serviette, if you will), fits exactly in my left hand, and the crinkled top is where it sticks out of my clenched fist just far enough for my thumb to rub it. I run my thumb across the top of the paper, which is just rough enough to offer a little friction, but smooth enough to  make the friction soothing.

The white tissue I just hold tightly in my right hand, fist clenched, calmed by the pressure. God, does it soothe me, to have these stimming helps.

I have instinctively created these for years — decades, really. I can’t remember a time in my adult life before them. Or maybe memory fails me. But in any case, they make life so much easier to deal with, and if I didn’t have them, things would be much more difficult — for myself and others.

I don’t always have the same ones. I make new ones, when I need them. They get pretty ratty, after a while, but I’ve been known to hang onto the same little stim buddies for long periods of time, even when they were starting to come apart.

The best part about them is that they’re almost invisible to others, I can tuck them into a pocket when I don’t need them, and they don’t cause undue NT alarm when I use them.

At least, not that I’ve been able to tell.

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