I think the fundamental problem of why we cannot understand the difference between males and females with autism is because we look at the condition as a overriding layer of a person’s self, and do not consider that whilst this does colour a lot of our thinking and behaviours, there is still the influence of personality, external inputs such as society, gender, past experiences, birth order, star signs, past lives (too far!?).
The point is we are all individual and unique already, and the autism mixes in with that. For example, when you see two people experiencing depression they may appear nothing alike. One may be bed bound, refusing to eat or talk, they have completely given up on life. Another may be found sobbing loudly at work as soon as anything goes wrong, telling people she’s just met about the Prozac her Drs recently prescribed her and how her therapist thinks it’s due to her mother’s emotional neglect. Yet there are also people who you wouldn’t even know had depression, they externally have not changed in the slightest. What makes people react so differently to the same illness? It is unfair to say it is due to severity, often those who commit suicide from depression are the ones you did not even suspect had any problems at all.
Read the rest of this excellent rant: An informal rant about individual differences in autism and why the extreme male brain theory should be axed – Aspertypical